What do your spouses think of your game used collecting?

[Provencal]

I was wondering how other game used collectors' spouses view their game used collecting. In particular, for those of you whose spouses give you resistance to purchasing, how do you handle this situation? My wife has taken the hard line and told me I am banned from buying more game used items. It is not about money. She feels that: 1) buying game used memorabilia is an addiction; 2) The memorabilia is junking up the house and taking over some of our common space; 3) The hobby is juvenile and not appropriate for grown men. My hobby has hence been mostly shut down, although she recently let me purchase a couple of small items for my birthday, and says I can also buy again later during Christmas. I've offered to store items in the closet and not on the walls, and I've told her that although I agree it is an addiction, I don't see any dangerous elements to it or ill health effects (on the contrary, the hobby has cheered me up on many a down day!), yet she won't budge on her position.

I would love to hear about other game used collector's experiences with their spouses, and how they handled it. Thanks!

[yankees506]

I couldn't be with a woman who didn't "understand" my hobby. I don't need her to be into it just let me do my thing. I don't think id want to be with someone who diminished my passion by calling it "childish" but that's just me. Luckily i've had no issues with this but it would suck to be married and get "the eye" everytime a package showed up.

[Sioux4Ever]

Luckily my fiancé thinks Chris Herrmann is a good looking dude so she doesn't mind me putting Game Used items up as long as I have some of my framed pics of him up too! She hates knowing how much I spend so for her benefit everything costs 1/2 what I paid when she asks!!

[JackHE]

My wife isn't too supportive but in fairness I have pretty much taken over the basement with GU jerseys. A few battles on the $$ I spend but we're not on welfare either. I guess just kind of an "understanding" with us.

[JDF5244]

My wife doesn't say a thing....however, my collection is confined to a closet currently. I break it out every now and then to admire it.
With that being said, I have been able to turn the tables and am using the game used items as a negotiating chip - she wants to buy a bigger house and I have advised her that we won't buy a bigger house unless I can have a room in which to display my treasures (in the new house). Making lemonade out of lemons fellas.......

[wfl1974]

For years my wife just sorta tolerated it, no animosity or anything, just an occasional comment relating to how much space it might be taking up. Several years ago (5 or 6) she took a more, I guess tolerant and even participatory approach. She encouraged me to do a makeover of my study and was genuinely excited about a few additions to my collection. Now, granted, if I spent a really large amount on a jersey or helmet, that would be questioned I'm sure. But, she really doesn't raise too much fuss about it. Now, granted we have been married 35 years and we've both sorta "settled" into our respective hobbies and passions, but we both support and take active roles, as much as practical, in each other's hobbies. I really have to commend her for being a good sport about it for all this time.

[TBM]

My wife does not support my hobby of buying "dirty cloths" and broken bats but she does not hinder it either. She even buys me framed pictures to hang on the walls for birthdays and Christmas. She does not know how much I spend and I occasionally feel bad for buying something expensive.

My collection was relegated to one small corner of the house and a closet until recently. We just bought a house and I now have a man/fan cave (ooohhhh yeaaaa!!!!) that is not as big as I would have liked but its infinitely more than what I had. Bad thing is that now she will see just how much I have:( I will be posting pictures when I get it all set up.

[mrjohnmalton]

I am banned from buying more game used items


she recently let me purchase a couple of small items for my birthday, and says I can also buy again later during Christmas

Nothing personal, but it seems as though your wife treats you more like a child than a husband. I can understand coming to an agreement when it comes to money spent, display space, and whatnot. To go as far as "banning" you from purchasing items, or telling you when you can and cannot buy stuff, seems completely ridiculous to me.

My wife will often ask "how much?", but no real issue other than that. I am respectful when it comes to displaying my items. I love my collection, but even I think having an entire home covered in collectibles, of any kind, comes off tacky.

[Vintagedeputy]

I have our basement walls filled with stuff. Wife isn't in love with the stuff, but her office is filled with scrapbooking crap,so....

[3arod13]

My wife supported me, but didn't really care for it much. But when I sold a piece and used the money to buy a chandelier for our foyer, she then saw the value and no longer had an issue with it :)

[Kelly12]

My wife does not really have an issue with it. It was def made clear when we were house searching that the house would need to include a Buffalo Bills room no questions asked. Being a teacher I work a lot of side jobs in the summer which helps fund my collection but I "always" make sure to throw the wife some cash to go shopping lol. I am very lucky, one of her favorite things to do is travel to Buffalo to see Bills games!

[helmets]

Interesting thread - and interesting to read the different posts and to learn how lucky I am! My wife doesn't have a problem with it at all and supports my hobby of collecting helmets. I counted this morning and I have multiple helmets displayed in some form or another in six (6) rooms of the house along with two large display cabinets in the upstairs hallway. Additionally the garage has racking around the perimeter that are full of helmets - modern on-field style sold to high schools and youth leagues. Two years ago we moved to a larger house - after 19 years - just for me to have more room to display. Her one requirement - which I try to stick to but is difficult is that they need to be in cabinets and not out in the open - so she won't have to dust them! She tells friends and family that do not "understand" - that I could have worse hobbies such as sitting in a bar drinking, gambling, or other things guys do! I have convinced her over the years that it is an investment - that it is not "throwing money away". If I am torn between selling/trading a helmet, I talk to her about it - and normally, she talks me out of it. Couldn't ask for a better attitude towards my hobby.

[memorabiliaunlimited]

one of the most common considerations i hear from people when i negotiate sales is that their wife will be mad about the purchase.

also, a number of times i was told i have to ship to peoples offices instead of their homes so their wives dont find out about the purchase - pretty funny.

[STLHAMMER32]

I've been blessed I supposed with a significant other who is supportive and trusts in me and the decisions I've made and continue to make whether it's investments, career choices or hobbies.... however, I do believe relationships are a productive of what we expect and allow to take place early on.

Your hobby is not the issue in my opinion, it will just transfer over into other areas of your life if you never bought another game used item again. Her problem probably isn't the hobby, it's probably the perception that you give it more attention than she's getting and there's jealousy involved and hurt and resentful feelings revealed in how she describes something she knows you care about.

Include her, share with her why you enjoy it. Change her perception, be a leader with firm decision making and make her feel as if she has a strong leader she can support and trust in. Also, support her in her interests and set aside time to listen and know what she likes.

[Raidersfan]

Mine refers to it as her retirement fund so I take that positively.

Bill

[sox83cubs84]

Mine is inconsistent. One one hand, she has gone out of her way, at times, to make displays for my GU caps and bats. On the other hand, in 30 years of marriage, she has NEVER bought me a game used gift for a birthday or Christmas present, and, when a bill needs to be paid, pressures me to sell a game used item to do it, although she never offers to sell any of her collectibles. Haven't figured her out yet.

Dave Miedema

[mook03005]

Guys

Im glad we have forums like this to vent and discuss personal issues like this. to the fellow who started the thread, I have been in your shoes. Funny thing about it is that she was actually the very first person to buy me a game used jersey at a marlins game, when we met in 2006. I love her very much for introducing me to the hobby. I kinda jokingly use that during light hearted arguing when I buy a new jersey, " well you started it honey" lol. Anyhow like many others on this thread Ive showed her the value in buying and flipping jerseys...... paying off our credit card and throwing more money in savings went along way with the last jersey I sold. When I showed her how little I paid for it on ebay 7 years ago, she was hooked!!!

[tom1315]

This is an interesting topic. I started collecting game used helmets ACC initially as a centerpiece for our tailgating table at NC State games. A guy nearby had on old State lid and the wear/tear turned into for me who wore it...did he turn pro, etc. Then I had a chance to meet Roman Gabriel and his personal story stories playing at State and the pros got me more interested. Ever notice on ESPN's game day they display as the centerpiece the helmets of the game that day?

So my tailgate table has a State helmet vs whoever we are playing! Gets lots of attention and fun to discuss the player who wore it, etc.

Well two NC State lids turned into trying to collect the rest of the remaining ACC schools, then we went to the SEC, then the NFL. For many years these were in my office at work then we sold the company...the wife saw how many the collection had grown too she said "you can have this space...for shelves and we'll get a clothes rack so you can have the jerseys on hangars and see them..." She has come along way guys....I've 70 or helmets now and too many jerseys...I started matching the helmets in games with the players jersey!

We do have one rule - "she said buy one must sell one" I'll admit I've cheated on this for I've run out of shelf space and new ones are on the floor! Boy, did that prompt some interesting and challenging husband-wife dialogue- I made it through but I've really slowed down unless a NC State player or a helmet like a recent Darnell Dinkins Ravens helmet (didn't have one) fills a hole in the collection.

Tom

Go State! 1981 alumni

[seanbaseball]

Wife doesnt care what I buy BUT does care how its displayed. Set up my 1934 bat display with full bat rack. I was told it looked terrible and she had me redo it to her liking with it mounted to the wall, a small price to pay,

[STLHAMMER32]

Wife doesnt care what I buy BUT does care how its displayed. Set up my 1934 bat display with full bat rack. I was told it looked terrible and she had me redo it to her liking with it mounted to the wall, a small price to pay,


Good taste by the wife on the display! Looks good Sean

[seanbaseball]

Good taste by the wife on the display! Looks good Sean

Thanks!

[GoCrazyFolks76]

The only issue my wife has with my collection is I mainly collect St. Louis Cardinals stuff, and she's a Cubs fan (it's a mixed marriage).

Other than that, there are no issues.

We keep separate checking accounts to pay our respective credit card bills. I don't ask how much she spends on her brand new clothes and she doesn't ask how much I spend on my used clothes and broken bats.

[coxfan]

My wonderful wife and I recently had our 47th anniversary. We learned early in our marriage to give each other space and time for our respective hobbies.

I'll add that I object, in general, to calling a hobby "childish." Kids do almost everything adults do. Chess is a great children's game from age 8 up. (Just try that out on your kids if you don't know that! The US Chess Federation recently had a kid's tournament with over 5700 players. All four of my grandsons, ages 6-8 love playing chess- at their level of course.) Does that make adult chess a "child's" activity? Little girls play dress-up. Does that make adult fashion-shopping a "child's" activity?

The collecting of game-used items is akin to any kind of collecting (stamps, coins, old magazines, old recipe books, ad infinitum). But popular prejudice against game-used collecting as a "childish" activity contributes to a culture in which fraud in game-used is not taken as seriously by society as fraud in other areas, such as art.

[cfern023]

Guys

Im glad we have forums like this to vent and discuss personal issues like this. to the fellow who started the thread, I have been in your shoes. Funny thing about it is that she was actually the very first person to buy me a game used jersey at a marlins game, when we met in 2006. I love her very much for introducing me to the hobby. I kinda jokingly use that during light hearted arguing when I buy a new jersey, " well you started it honey" lol. Anyhow like many others on this thread Ive showed her the value in buying and flipping jerseys...... paying off our credit card and throwing more money in savings went along way with the last jersey I sold. When I showed her how little I paid for it on ebay 7 years ago, she was hooked!!!

Yoooo- its tubby/ chris / piazza collector - text me when you can I have a few numbers for you but idk Which is the correct one.

[mruggiero20]

put it this way... i'm single lol