If I Were An Authenticator...

[kingjammy24]

here's what i'd do..

i'd rack up the auction house contracts. there's really not all that much money, relatively speaking, in just authenticating items though. i'd use the auctions to internally suss out items i personally liked and could flip. flipping's where the real money is. once i identified those items, i'd grade them low and/or mis-describe them so as to result in an artificially low price. i'd win the items, at the artificially low price, with help from my auction house pals. after all, bidding records are never made public so who's gonna know that i "won" an item, much less that i "won" it for less than the highest bidder. then i'd flip these items elsewhere by increasing the grade on them and pocket the profit. of course my auction house pals wouldn't be happy about the lower commissions from the lower hammer prices on these items. so in turn, i'd jack up the grades on items they personally submitted into the auction. 9.5! stupendous example! their items would then fetch substantially more and put more money in their personal pockets so that would make up for the items i was getting on the cheap and flipping. i'd also help out with the auction..change a facemask, add a decal, look the other way on bad items, whatever was needed to keep everyone fat and happy. in turn, they'd keep me stuffed full of contracts and i could keep buying items on the cheap and flipping them elsewhere for more. if some internet forum pops up and starts meddling, i'll tell the auction house to ban them or ignore them. i hate internet forums. they impede the gravy train. life was better before them, when collectors would pay more for a 10 than a 5 and i was the guy who made the call as to what as a 10 and what was a 5 and could profit by gaming the system for my pals. just to keep a low profile, i wouldn't want to be personally identified on any particular item. just let the auction house say i'm part of some team so collectors have no clue who's examining what.

pretty revolutionary huh.

rudy.

[suave1477]

Rudy your real name wouldnt happen to be Lou would it????

[lund6771]

Rudy...

are you just day dreaming or do you got a good story to tell

[Vintagedeputy]

If I Were Lou Lampson (The Lampson Song)

If I were Lou Lampson
I'd authenticate in the morning
I'd authenticate in the evening
All over this land
I'd authenticate forgerys
I'd authenticate fake jerseys
I'd authenticate things that were never really game worn
All over this land

If I had a COA
I'd sign it in the morning
I'd sign it in the evening
All with my own hand
I'd sign my own name
To just about anything
I'd authenticate anything as long as the money's green
All over this land

If I had 8000 photos
I'd authenticate in the morning
I'd authenticate in the evening
All over this land
I'd claim its authentic
I'd claim that its genuine
I'd authenticate anything without any proof
All over this land

Well I've got no conscience
And I've got no photos
To prove what I say is really game used
Its all slight of hand
It's done with smoke and mirrors
It's the sound of greed
It's the song about love between auction houses and me
All over this land

[ndevlin]

Haha, oh man, I cant believe you actually put that.

[Eric]

Rudy-

That's the world our hobby lives in. And people wonder why the collectors are hypersensitive to being cheated.

Your scenario enables the following situation of checks and balances
(No, it's not that we write the checks and their account balances increase)

After you write letters on those items, should questions be brought up about your findings, the auction house to deflect with a standard "Well the authenticator said it was good." They don't have to provide any additional info.

Then even if the buyer gets really shows that the item was not as described, they point to "All Sales Final" and say you shouldn't bid if you aren't comfortable with the authenticator. But they're comfortable with the authenticator and stand behind all of their items, but all sales are final, but they stand behind their items, but all sales are final, but the authenticator says it's good, but they stand behind their items, and all sales are final.

And many of them end up selling the scoreboard shirts as game used, or the helmets with the wrong facemask, or the jersey with the improper tagging anyway.

[both-teams-played-hard]

If I Were Lou Lampson (The Lampson Song)

If I were Lou Lampson
I'd authenticate in the morning
I'd authenticate in the evening
All over this land
I'd authenticate forgerys
I'd authenticate fake jerseys
I'd authenticate things that were never really game worn
All over this land

If I had a COA
I'd sign it in the morning
I'd sign it in the evening
All with my own hand
I'd sign my own name
To just about anything
I'd authenticate anything as long as the money's green
All over this land

If I had 8000 photos
I'd authenticate in the morning
I'd authenticate in the evening
All over this land
I'd claim its authentic
I'd claim that its genuine
I'd authenticate anything without any proof
All over this land

Well I've got no conscience
And I've got no photos
To prove what I say is really game used
Its all slight of hand
It's done with smoke and mirrors
It's the sound of greed
It's the song about love between auction houses and me
All over this land

Pete Seeger reference on the forum? Who knew? This post would have worked nicely with the "Hammer" thread, a few months back. Nice.

[aeneas01]

i'd use the auctions to internally suss out items i personally liked and could flip. flipping's where the real money is. once i identified those items, i'd grade them low and/or mis-describe them so as to result in an artificially low price. i'd win the items, at the artificially low price, with help from my auction house pals. after all, bidding records are never made public so who's gonna know that i "won" an item, much less that i "won" it for less than the highest bidder. then i'd flip these items elsewhere by increasing the grade on them and pocket the profit.

for this scheme to work a consignor would a) have to swallow the low grade or not even notice it and b) steer clear of future auctions, no? seems a little risky, even for the most daring.

of course my auction house pals wouldn't be happy about the lower commissions from the lower hammer prices on these items. so in turn, i'd jack up the grades on items they personally submitted into the auction. 9.5! stupendous example! their items would then fetch substantially more and put more money in their personal pockets so that would make up for the items i was getting on the cheap and flipping.

why would a crooked auction house agree to such terms? heck i would think they would simply say "hey, if you want us to keep throwing biz your way you will grade everything high - we make money on the hammer price, you make money on the contract, got it? and if you try to screw us we'll make sure you go home in a pair of cement shoes."

[aeneas01]

speaking of authenticators, according to nerat's blog he will be at the pcce - lampson and bushing will also be in attendance. looking forward to a gavel chat piece on the unfair treatment of today's authenticators thanks to modern technology....

[cohibasmoker]

speaking of authenticators, according to nerat's blog he will be at the pcce - lampson and bushing will also be in attendance. looking forward to a gavel chat piece on the unfair treatment of today's authenticators thanks to modern technology....

PERFECT